3 Responses to “Wait… what am I doing here again?”

  1. Sweetie, I’m glad you got over your first bout of homesickness. I will say it won’t be the last, so you’ll be better prepared next time.

    As for you wondering why people do it, move away so far from home and to such a foreign and strange place from what you know, I can only share my experience. Of course, there is the realization of the bigger picture, the shift of focus from you to what the world needs. It is also in those times, however, the times when I see the bigger picture and that world is not such a small place, when I see my place in it. It is those times I break the communication barrier with people of a different culture that makes me feel in commune with the rest of the people in our lonely existence on this planet. It is those times that I am away from all expectations of who I am, was, should be, from all that is familiar to me, from the predictability of a “normal” life – that is when I truly learn who I am as a person and what I really want. It is something truly amazing and breath taking and humbling. I would never give it up for anything, that feeling. Everytime I go through homesickness, whether I am in travelling in different countries missing SF, living in Japan missing the US, in SF missing Japan or Philippines, etc., i feel grateful that I feel that homesickness – it is a gift from God that reminds me that I have this bigger home, with a bigger family, and that I have a bigger purpose in life than to just exist and try my best not to fuck up.

    I am glad you are having such a great experience in Thailand! We have a lot to talk about when you come back home. We miss you.

  2. Hey Eugene, I am glad to see you in good spirits. 🙂 That IS why you’re in Thailand. What an experience. I am glad you shared your story about watching the kids at the YMCA. When I was in Chiang Mai, I saw the kids selling those flowers/garlands. I didn’t buy any because I felt like it was encouraging something I don’t feel is right (sending those youngsters out to make some money). Later, I realized that was my American blueprint, and I decided to let up a bit and accept the lifestyle (even though I won’t ever send my kids out to do the same). Anyway, you hit the nail on the head. At the bottom of it all, they are just kids. And it’s great that you were able to see them being just that. Soak up all these moments, buddy – they are going to be the ones that you’re recounting for years! Talk to you soon. 😉

  3. Oh my goodness Eugene, it seems like you are just right where you’re supposed to be. Figuring out how to just be rather than ‘do’, and figuring out how to take in everything that you’re seeing. What an opportunity. And I don’t mean a professional opportunity, I mean an emotional, spiritual, soul opportunity. Man, I feel like I keep getting the message to just be and sit back and allow things to happen, too, and it’s a hard message to take in! I want to be all proactive and go get myself that perfect job and be in charge of the timing. Apparently, the universe has other ideas. So, I’m at home, somewhere totally familiar and comfortable, trying to take in a similar message. And its still not easy! It’s kind of crazy to think that by the time you come home, we will have a new president, and things will be ‘a changin! Dude, I’m forwarding this address to Carmen so she can read it. She will love it. Love Kelly.

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